Thursday, May 12, 2011

"You're too slow, B!tch!"

About three weeks ago, I was walking on my way home from the gym. I was crossing the street and there was a vehicle turning from the other intersection. As the car passed behind me, I heard a disembodied voice (which I assume was from a female driver) shout: "You're too slow, Bitch!" I turned around but couldn't find the perpetrator of this verbal crime. So I started yelling back into thin air, "Can't you see? Pedestrian crossing says I can go!" But there was no one to listen to me. The car sped off.
I was left, fuming. No one has ever cursed at me like that before for crossing the street when I had the right of way from the first place. So I cursed her. I wished she got into an accident. I wished that her license was revoked. I wished that she could feel the same anguished anger at being told that they're slow and a bitch in the same breath. Then I talked to my significant other and he asked me, "Was there a message there for you?"

Me: Huh?
Him: Was the universe trying to tell you anything?
Me: Ya, that that bitch is a bitch and I'm so f@cking pissed off at that bitch.
Him: I think you're being too emotional.
Me: Are you taking her side?!
Him: No, no. I just think that there is something else going on. Why don't you think about it.
Me: There's nothing to think about. She's a bitch and that's that.

Well, in a matter of three days, after having this conversation, I got into almost-accidents while driving my father's '99 silver Nissan Sentra. People were so angry with me for no reason. I suddenly lost all sense of space and couldn't park. I had people watching me. I had a bus waiting for me. There was an Arabic guy cursing me out for not being able to park and he was waiting for me to leave so he could park at the space himself. It was, in other words, a driving/parking nightmare. Suddenly, it was me who shouldn't be driving and I could imagine these people clucking their tongues and shaking their heads, thinking, why in hell does this girl have a license?

So I told my S.O. about it again and he repeated the same thing.

Him: I told you so.
Me: (quiet)
Him: So think about it.
Me: So what does it mean?
Him: You should not curse that woman out. You have to go back to the moment and take out that hate you felt for her and just accept it for what it is.
Me: Sigh. Fine.

So I tried to do what he suggested. I visualized it. I tried not to hate the bitch. God, I even thanked her for reminding me to be conscious. Anyway, I didn't think of it again until the whole thing with people from the hospital suddenly asking me about my future plans. When I talked to the S.O. about it, he reiterated what he said earlier.

Him: I really think it's a message from the universe. You're being too slow.
Me: What do you mean?
Him: You should have finished one of your writing projects already. You're being too slow. It's the universe telling you your time is up.
Me: Well, when you put it like that...
Him: So finish something already.

Alright then. Here's my plan of action: I'm quitting the Hospital job. I'm going to finish my novel draft and I'm going to write for more conferences. The Universe is cursing at me already. One thing's for sure though: I still can't believe the Universe called me a Bitch!

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